Fear to FAITH, Survival to LIFE

Matthew 15: 31
Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught Peter. Jesus said, “Your faith is small. Why did you doubt”.

It’s been a year and half since breast cancer surgery. I consider my surgery date my other birthday. From the beginning  I wasn’t just leaning into God through my fears, I had jumped in his arms and prayed with great fervor through many, many tears. Forever grateful am I, this child of His.

I was the energizer bunny during the first year of treatment. I kept on going and going and going and thumping my little drum all along the way. I was sooooo grateful, time was a borrowed gift and I had no more to waste.
I was surrounded by beautiful, wise women who each had their own life’s ordeals to find their way through. I knew the support of others was so needed and had decided from the start to take full advantage of everything  available to me. The local cancer network offered many tools to aid through the treatment process, one of which came in the form of a personal trainer through the YWCA. I’m not a joiner by nature but count me in and I loved working out and laughing with the ladies. It was amazing to witness the ability to stretch our human spirit in order to strengthen physically and emotionally.
As said I was going, going, going until all of a sudden the energy was gone, gone, gone. I got a little depressed when the last 6 month check-up came my way. I had a few things on the happ’s besides the annual mammogram and it was taking a toll. I talked to my friend Janie who explained she thinks we operate on adrenaline while in survival mode. I had not thought of that but it sure made sense. I had hit the adrenaline rush wall, was in a funk and stepped back into fear. But this time it was different, I realized I didn’t want to just survive (because sometimes we don’t). There is the real chance cancer does return and there are those who live with ongoing treatment. Both during cancer and then after cancer we are changed, post trauma issues can come as we try our best to survive our survival. We do have the choice in our ability to survive the trauma, LIVE our lives and not doubt His hand is within our reach. Or live in the fear that tears our joy away as it reminds of our mortality. I choose to LIVE in joy, move through the fears and beyond me to Him.
I continue to pray for the best of medicinal treatments in order to eliminate any cancers from the body.
I continue to pray for more options offered and honored in how best to treat cancer.
I continue to pray we are not debilitated by cancer but through miracle motivated to reach out to those who’ve been there, done that and maybe still are.
I continue to pray for healing of faith where doubt is nothing but a memory stepped on to see closer to His face.5536CC72-F8C3-4684-BE39-2BCD88BB767F Continue reading

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With Eyes Wide Shut

 

Matthew 16:24
Then Jesus told His disciples, if anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me.”

I do not see, because i choose to see not
With eyes wide shut, the soul to rot
My God, my God I cry to thee
As He continues to reach beyond the me
In the attempt for self, I’m brought to my knees
It is from the broken and battered
His compassion, our heart best sees
In Him I praise His full embrace
He held me close as I turned my face
Never to leave me in the dark
He shines a light that leaves His mark
And now I see, from where compassion grows
It is through His grace that mercy shows
I praise you Father for the gift in sight
And loving me through my own might

 

 

photosunsetjanet

Guilt into Love in Action

horizonHebrews 12:11
No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.

Selfish is guilt, when used in the noun
Silently stagnate until in verb form
No movement or action, no motivation beyond
The dark place of shame for some is the norm

Or maybe in self, where justification is rule
We reach out for reason in hopes to deny
Where our failures we choose to fiercely defend
No need to look out from the souls inner eye

Thank God for the peace where repentance is gift
Where guilt moves into action and forgiveness is key
The evolvement of life pushes noun into verb
Life into change, guilt to compassion in Him meant to be

Beyond the Heart Undone

Mathew 29:34
Jesus had compassion on them and touched their eyes. Immediately they received their sight and followed him.

2 Corinthians 1:3-4
Praise be to God and the Father of Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.

In action all our deed should be
It say’s the most of Him in me
Gesture in the simplest form
Listening from a heart that’s torn

His light shines bright from the darkest place
Where we often are tempted to hide our face
He never does not light our way
If in our hearts we ask Him to stay

Help me Father to remain silently true
Your loves speaks beyond those who knew
Never will you abandon a one
Who asks you into the heart undone

Abortion, such an ugly word

 

Abortion, such an ugly word, so ugly we don’t talk about it with each other.  We rather choose to beat each other up with it.  It’s ugly for a reason

Abortion, it’s all in how you look at it and I pray we do just that
Abortion, an act of violence chosen in response to terror

Compassion, the pride of righteousness is replaced with the solution of life and the offering of support beyond the termination of the problem. Eventually the shoe always does drop and with choice comes consequence
Compassion, Gods gift to respond to another not merely react to their pain

Hypocrisy, when we shout down each other for shouting down each other
Hypocrisy, when the bullied becomes the bully
Hypocrisy, when we profess to be the champion for the less fortunate yet choose the more convenient way, in the attempt to silent the silent
Hypocrisy, who can scream the loudest while victimizing the victim wins the argument

I pray we look beyond the right to choose
And research why and what we have to loose
I think we get so caught up in the act of fight
That we know not what is the true plight
Sometimes we’re quick to judge another
Flaunt our righteousness in protection of sister/brother
Arguments screamed in high volume
In the hopes that doing so, the agenda you must consume
The fight to right the injustice to all?
Loses it’s merit when discussion is not brought out to call

Easter Miracle

John 3:16

For God so loved the world, that He gave His only Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have eternal life.

The miracles are coming
But they’ve been here the whole time
In the brokenness of spirit
Where He calls us each, His mine

The miracles are coming
In the peace where pain resides
Only His love remains constant
In Him alone I hide

The miracles are coming
Never alone I need to be
Praise God for His omnipotence
His gift of Son for Me

Praise

Matthew 16:24
Then Jesus told His disciples, if anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me.”

I do not see, because i choose to see not
With eyes wide shut, the soul to rot
My God, my God I cry to thee
As He continues to reach beyond the me
In the attempt for self, I’m brought to my knees
Where, from the broken and battered
His compassion, our heart best sees
In Him I praise His full embrace
He held me close as I turned my face
Never to leave me in the dark
He shines a light that leaves His mark
And now I see, from where compassion grows
It is through His grace that mercy shows
I praise you Father for the gift in sight
And loving me through my own might

The praise of peace
The peace in praise
Inside the heart is Jesus raised
The ransom paid in love the cost
So that my soul may not be lost
I praise the peace in Him alone
Forgiven sins He did atone
In peace He holds me close to thee
In praise I pray to constant bedaylily at home

 

Pondering Poetic

Mark 9:24
Immediately the boy’s father exclaimed, “I do believe, help me overcome my unbelief!”

For sometime i have believed
In Father, Son and Holy Spirit, the trinity in one
A leap of faith, the spirit led
Where the search had been so long
Never did I question Him from the time i first believed
But oh how i did question self, knowing full well the heart deceived

In that, is where God loves us past the doubts within ourselves
And into his amazing grace where He heals us into soul
Where tears of life in grief and joy, we move beyond the cries of fear
He loves us as we gasp for air in the panic of life’s mid-fall
Praise God, for the breath of faith He offers us each all

Jeremiah 1:5
“Before I formed you in the womb I knew you”

Where have all the unborn gone
Long time passing
Where have all the unborn gone
All those many souls

Does the soul come with our first breath
Upon the beating of our hearts
Or does it come in His breath
From where each soul finds start

Conception to creation of soul
That is meant to be
This I believe comes before
What we are meant to see

I believe within that heart that beats
Has already a soul been formed
And not one to terminate but rather celebrate
The miracle has been performed

KEEP THE FAITH

20140112_172429 I’ve been repurposing things of past for some time now. However, recently I’ve been finding new purpose of my own and getting a little more symbolic in creativity.
This mosaic cross is clear and colored glass beads on a used but repainted frame. I’ve kept a daisy pattern within and surrounding the cross of blue. In the center is a single clear green glass bead. The light shines beautifully and so differently throughout the day, when placed in a location to let the sunshine in.

With Every Twist and Turning Branch of The Family Tree

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Hey man in my family, not a one of us fall far from the family tree.

It matters not if our bloom has long since faded far from the vine or if we are just coming into bud.

We continually sprout, bud and eventually bloom into the fruit we were intended to bare.

For us we were through many years of grafting, pruning and nuturing meant to produce the love of faith, forgiving and family that was planted by those who have long since past, yet had laid solid ground for us to grow.

How silly, ridiculous and arrogant of us to do anything other than continue and progress, as meant to be.

From what I know of life, not much that grows without encumbrance holds within the seed of character. 

Character must be cultivated in the rich soil of  family, some adversity, rich love and most of all a deep rooted faith.

For my family, each and everyone I pray. we continue grow through all the twisting, turning and most of all loving that lies within and beyond our family tree.