Pondering Poetic

Mark 9:24
Immediately the boy’s father exclaimed, “I do believe, help me overcome my unbelief!”

For sometime i have believed
In Father, Son and Holy Spirit, the trinity in one
A leap of faith, the spirit led
Where the search had been so long
Never did I question Him from the time i first believed
But oh how i did question self, knowing full well the heart deceived

In that, is where God loves us past the doubts within ourselves
And into his amazing grace where He heals us into soul
Where tears of life in grief and joy, we move beyond the cries of fear
He loves us as we gasp for air in the panic of life’s mid-fall
Praise God, for the breath of faith He offers us each all

Jeremiah 1:5
“Before I formed you in the womb I knew you”

Where have all the unborn gone
Long time passing
Where have all the unborn gone
All those many souls

Does the soul come with our first breath
Upon the beating of our hearts
Or does it come in His breath
From where each soul finds start

Conception to creation of soul
That is meant to be
This I believe comes before
What we are meant to see

I believe within that heart that beats
Has already a soul been formed
And not one to terminate but rather celebrate
The miracle has been performed

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From Trash to Treasure (taped to memory)

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As I drove up to the yard sale and saw this beauty, it took a lot for me not to jump out of the car while still moving. I was almost in salivation mode while walking (running) up to the owner.
Needless to say I bought it for a reasonable price and enjoyed thoroughly the process of restoration. Well I enjoyed most of it. The one thing that drives me nuts is finding TAPE adhered to wood. I do not understand why anyone tapes wood and have decided that while I’m trying to refrain in the curse word department, TAPE is my new four letter word.

From “dragon ass” to spreading my wings in “dragonfly”

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Anyone who is blessed enough to live in the land of four seasons, knows there comes a time when we got to admit, we’re tired of white and wet stuff that looks a lot like snow.
Man after a long hard winter, I’m startin to feel more than a little cabin fever and can’t wait to break lose of this ass I’ve been “dragon” all winter long.
Now I just want to spread my “yardsale dragonfly” wings and breath in the old, stank vintage air of antique past, longing for the rebirth of spring.

Greedy Little Piggy (that I am), I’ll Continue To Count My Many Blessings

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In most of our lives, hustle, bustle, toil and sometimes trouble are not a rarity but the norm.
It’s an unfortunate fact of life, that on occasion we get so caught up in the act of living that we can become numb to the art of life.

Tonight I had a much needed reminder, that in all things, when they be simple and from the heart of another comes some mighty good medicine (aka mojo).

For me, it’s when I force myself to stop, breath and appreciate those around me and the abudance of gifts they are blessed with, that I really and truly relax.

I’m countin my blessings and praising my Lord tonight!!!!

Not Just Talking Out My “boro”, TGIF and More

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With my feet barely touching the floor, my fingers type away with the kind of zeal that only comes from the end of a hard week of work and a fine glass of wine.

Oh how I’m anticipatin’ un-alarming that no good, dirty rotten alarm clock tonight.
Lord, knows at my age (vintage) I am so grateful to be employed and at the same time, at my age (again, vintage) I am not so grateful that I still have to be employed!!!!

Oh, well I remind myself this evening that is why God made weekends, so we could do all the laundry, clean the house, do the shopping, wash the car, pay the bills and then RELAX.

I remember doing all this when my kids were little. Really, not so much has changed except for the fact that now I’m old enough I kind of smile even when I bitch.

I observe those around me, some still hard at work, some retired and some forced into early retirement.

I remind myself that the grass is never so green as in our own backyard and that each and every one of us has the ability to make it, break it or grab it by the ____
and run with it.

I choose this beautiful Friday evening to get my bitchin out-of-the-way, count my many blessings and then run with each and every one of them into tomorrow.

TGIF, us each and everyone!!!!

Ripping The Yard Sale Monkey Off My Back (is leaving a real pain in my ass)

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It’s an unfortunate necessity that I will soon be forced to rip that “yard sale” monkey off my back (like it or not) and that’s gonna make for a real pain in my ass. Living way on up in the … Continue reading

“windows are not made for looking out but more for looking in.”

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When I was a child I had my Dottie She was my salvation. I loved her, I adored her and I miss her to this day. Dorothy Kathryn Jenkins (Mobley) was my grandmother. God really broke the mold with Dot. … Continue reading

If I Knew Then, What I Now Know

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If I knew then that my sister and brothers would many years later find so much humor in the fact that my mama dressed me funny (even in pajamas),
I would most definitely find a smaller pair to wear, just so we could share a belly laugh together as only siblings can do.

If I knew then that aluminum Christmas trees were only a novelty,
I would have stocked up. I did so love to lay in front of that tree with the color wheel turning. I would stare at the ceiling for hours on end, probably a precursor to a few little trips (if you know what I mean and if your old and lived through the 70’s, you should) I took a not so many years later.

If I knew then that my father would grow old and tired,
I would not have wasted so much time being angry with him and more time celebrating the man he was.

If I knew then my mother did love me as only a mother can,
I for sure would have not held onto childhood hurts that only ended up hurting her too.

It wasn’t until some years later I realized my family is everything I am.
They are a gift that I have many times over been afraid to love fully.

I wish I knew then what I now know.

From Blue Sky Bliss to Blue Light Madness

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As the blue-sky envelopes all the natural beauty the great northwest has to offer, I find myself in awe of my surroundings. Even the drive to my local grocery store is scenic and my senses are ripe to breath it all in. I feel so alive, so vibrant and so grateful!!!!

Until that is, the actual shopping experience begins. The minute I start frantically wiping off (with a tiny disinfectant wipe) that filthy, cumbersome cart, all the pre-store, enjoy the trip euphoria is now only a memory for me to cling to.

Is it only me that is transfixed on thinking about how many little “pee-pee” bottoms have sat in that cart at one time or another? I think about it enough that I got to go back for another wipe. Then I must try to not take any poor bystander out while I steer that monster cart with one hand and wipe frantically that “stinkin” seat with the other.

I just have to interject here that I really DO NOT think people with that stupid blue tooth thing hanging out of there ear, should be allowed in the grocery store while wearing that ridiculous thing. Nothing screams “I need attention” more than that silly bit of business.

When shopping on a budget stopping and picking up the weekly ad is a must. Then you have to find some quiet little spot to have a minute to peruse what’s on the table for this week. Not an easy task if you’ve hit the store on a payday or senior Tuesday. Your chances of being hit by a cart driven by some old fart are way better than sneaking off somewhere to check that ad in private.

If you do manage to get those precious sale items memorized and those coupons ripped out with your bare hands and neatly enough there is still some remnant of bar code, you’ve done well. I know I’m always quite proud of myself when I get all that accomplished without cursing so loudly some poor soul thinks there’s been a flip out in aisle 5. I really do try not to curse in the grocery store but I have been known to slip up on that from time to time.

When I finally do make it to check out, is when I really must focus and breath. Again if it’s busy and the lines are long I will make at least one pre-emptive pass, by all the cashiers. I’m looking for that experienced, friendly face that I think will help me to achieve my goal to get through that line as quickly as possible. I’m also checking out my shopping competition. I do not want to get behind a couponer or social butterfly, cause to me that is the equivalent of torture. Again too there better not be a “bluetooth” wearer in my line. I will shift from side to side to side to side, while focusing on anything but the horror in front of me. I get the shakes just thinking about it!

But when it’s all said, done, bought and paid for I exit and take again a deep breath of outside bliss. That is until I realize I forgot, yet again where I parked that freakin car. This is why I have grandchildren. My role as grandmother is nurturer. Their role is to keep grandma the loving nurturer and save her from the grocery store parking lot trauma about to happen!!!!!!!!

Change Is In The Air (if we allow)

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Okay I have a something to say. Something that is not so funny (and I try always to keep it light in my blog, but no so much today).

Actually it is not just something but something’s I have been thinking and praying about so long and maybe now it’s time to put finger to keyboard. I have a feeling the next paragraphs will upset maybe more than a few. If you are upset by what you are reading I ask a couple of things, please do not simply react. Take a moment and digest what you read and then respond in a thoughtful, hopefully kind way. If you’re pissed and can’t do the kind thing then please just realize that we are all allowed to have opinions and to discuss without blame or hate, otherwise change is for sure not in the air.

I’m 57 yrs old I have lived one very full life. Living past the age of 10 and full bore to boot, I have some things I have witnessed that have bothered me very much. It’s to the point now that I can no longer remain silent. I really do not like drama. At the same time I abhor lying and cowardness, so it’s time I start walking my talk and sharing my thought. Because I am coming from a place that I hope things may change for the better I must ask you all to please realize this takes a lot and I’m doing it at my own discretion, so please use yours too.

It has troubled me for years as to how we celebrate others grieve and misery. A lot of this is in regards to media. It seems kind of a cunumbdrum to me that we need to know what is going on out there in the world, yet have little regard for those most affected by circumstance. I totally agree it is so important to get the truth. What concerns me is that truth can be biased and therefore only true to those reporting it. I have told my children for years that everyone has an agenda. You must take most things with a grain of salt and then do further research for yourself. While I am so grateful to those brave reporters who put themselves in harms way to ensure we know the truth. I still believe it is then our responsibility to research that truth further.

What I find in total contrast to that bravery and I believe integrity, is when the polar opposite coverage occurs. For me when I turn on the news and see a talking head dissecting another tragedy, the facts become exploited and I really do have a problem with that.

About 30 yrs ago a very nice local man died in a car accident. He was a businessman, husband, and father and in general a very nice fellow I thought. I found out about his death through a local newscast and I was devasted. Not only had his wife lost her husband and his children lost their father, but for whatever reason the media had the need to document through photography just one of this poor mans shoe’s lying out in the middle of the highway. I was in my twenties at that time and remember how that one act of making that shoe the focus of the broadcast made me realize, even grieve will be exploited, for whatever reason I really do not understand.

Keep in mind please that I have been sitting on all these thoughts for a while but not had the courage, until now to tell you what I really think.

Unfortunately after years and years of watching one exploitation after another I can no longer stand to remain quiet. I was always hoping it would change but I see now it ain’t about to happen.

I kept my mouth shut for so long until Paula Deen. Don’t get me wrong I hate racism; it’s based in fear that projects hate. More than racism though I just plain old hate, hate. Because that is based in evil. To me hypocrisy is evil and something we are all very capable of. I have always known that when someone else comes out swingin they usually have some deep shit they really don’t want to own up to and that is hypocrisy to it’s core.

My point is please let’s stop with Paula Deen. The Salem Witch Trials are to me being reenacted and it really blows my mind. Do we actually believe in the crucification of this woman we are going to alleviate racism? In my humble opinion I think not. What I see coming down the pike is more closeted racism. I see more hypocrisy than ever and by allowing this we open the gate for more hate. I think what we should be doing is educating through her blunder. I gotta say right here and now that I do not defend everything Paula has done. But what I defend is a woman who grew up in a different culture than myself. I defend a woman who I do believe made some poor choices but still had the courage to admit to saying something that she must have known would not go over well. My God in heaven while I deplore bigotry I celebrate honesty. How refreshing it is to hear and honest remark when asked a question.

At this point I gotta go all the way back to how much I detest dishonesty. To me ignorance we can change but dishonesty is far reaching and way scarier. I must go back to Bill Clinton. Again, this is my opinion and I’m entitled to it. I never wrote about it but it has bugged me for freakin years. In regards to his “maybe yes, maybe no” pot smokin past, President Clinton said this “When I was in England, I experimented with marijuana a time or two, and I didn’t like it. I didn’t inhale and never tried it again.” I knew then he was full of shit. I don’t even want to go further with more of Bill Clinton because it may hurt others and I’m not too much into that but I am trying to make a point . Bill Clinton was not an honest person, in my opinion. When people are maybe misguided but still honest we have hope. These are the people who can through there own learning and painful process help to change the world.

So let’s all remain hopeful that change is in the works, through kindness, courage and honesty. It really does take a special kind of person to make for change. It takes a person of courage and truth. Though her or his truth may be in need of change, you must have a person with the courage for truth to make the change.

There will be more to follow on a future blog. But it will be my truth and what I hope so much will get people thinking and maybe in a place where we are willing to listen with an open mind and kind heart.