With Every Twist and Turning Branch of The Family Tree

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Hey man in my family, not a one of us fall far from the family tree.

It matters not if our bloom has long since faded far from the vine or if we are just coming into bud.

We continually sprout, bud and eventually bloom into the fruit we were intended to bare.

For us we were through many years of grafting, pruning and nuturing meant to produce the love of faith, forgiving and family that was planted by those who have long since past, yet had laid solid ground for us to grow.

How silly, ridiculous and arrogant of us to do anything other than continue and progress, as meant to be.

From what I know of life, not much that grows without encumbrance holds within the seed of character. 

Character must be cultivated in the rich soil of  family, some adversity, rich love and most of all a deep rooted faith.

For my family, each and everyone I pray. we continue grow through all the twisting, turning and most of all loving that lies within and beyond our family tree.

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Mom

christmasmomdadjanmikemeThere are those of us who write our feelings so much better than we could ever say them.
For me, I think the written word and the silence it has to offer is so much more meaningful than the sound that accompanies verbal communication.
Not to mention that there are always those who just love to hear themselves talk. To me that form of communication has the strong possibility of cheapening the emotion.

Simply put, I hear better when there is silence. I feel better when writing in silence. I can feel my whatever the emotion may be and also do it in a more constructive way, whilst typing away my feelings, thoughts, etc.

So here goes nothing I got a little diarrhea of the finger to keyboard and I have a strong need to dump my load from ink to paper.

My mother died this morning a 6:10. I do believe she is with my sweet father Jesus, who will allow her to bask in his glory and love on her mother, father, brother, first son-In/law Mike and not to mention at least 3 grandchildren she never got to meet.

I’ve come to realize after my first husbands, my father’s and now mother’s passing that death like life is one heck of a trip.

I feel so much obligation to celebrate my loved one’s passing through our life’s interactions.

Tonight it is mom who I want/need to celebrate. I must preface by saying that I am one heck of a hard ass nut and I expect a lot of others and myself. But what I am learning is that the world really doesn’t revolve about my “hard-ass-ness”. I wish I had learned that sooner.
I judged my mother so strongly due to my own childhood hurts. What hurt the most was that I thought my mother was never happy. I wanted so much for her to be. Actually I wanted both my parents to love life because isn’t that what we all want to achieve, while here.

I wish I’d have spent less time judging her and more time relishing in her strengths and gifts.
She was so childlike. She was wonderful with small children and naptimes with mommy were special. She could weave a tale like nobody’s business and I realize now it is her I got that from.

She was a good sport, for sure. Because not only her children but also her extended family could torment her and she would just go with our flow. I remember more than one occasion involving a can of fart spray (John).

She had the voice of an angel and she knew it. Actually I think that is the only thing my mother felt good about. She had little, if any confidence except in the fact that she could sing.

She was so stinking beautiful, actually she was stunning. But she never saw what the rest of us saw. So sad and for so long I couldn’t understand that. I’m sorry mommy. I know your happy now and singing “I hope” at the top of your lungs.

As Liam Sees It, Shares It and Grandma Gets to Love It

Spring has finally sprung in the great northwest. Winter is always too long, dark and cold for my liking.
For me spring is the much-anticipated prelude to my favorite season, SUMMER!!!!! I love summer. I long for it all year-long. I can’t wait to bask in the sun, work in the yard and create family memories.
Those memories most definitely include time spent with our darling, sometimes crazy and for sure funny (and I mean really funny) grandchildren.

It was not too far away and not too long ago that I was blessed with a grandkids’ perspective on my upcoming plans for summer fun and memories in the making.

I had just finished work for the day and asked daughter in law Kimmee, if I could spend some time with 3yr old Liam. Currently Kimmie is a student, a teacher, a mother and a wonderful spouse to my wonderful son Caleb. Needless to say this girl deserves a break on occasion and it didn’t take much to talk her into Liam taking off with Grandma.

Okay, with the kid picked up we were off to do several errands. Now, the deal is with the grandkids’ they get to be grandma’s secretary. They carry and answer my phone while I drive and while in Costco.  Also because those of us who carry AARP cards have been known to get home without our bread or milk on occasion, the grandkid is the grocery list taskmaster extraordinaire.  Most importantly though, the grandkids’ are to always remember where the heck I parked the car in the midst of parking lot chaos. I have no shame laying that burden on anyone of my grandchildrens’ small shoulders. They each take this responsibility very seriously. It’s funny how wandering about aimlessly in an overcrowded, hot parking lot with a sweaty and frantic grandma can make quite the impression on a small child.

Now, I must get back to Liam and more about this 3yr old charmer. He can be precocious at times. He’s very witty for a little kid and what makes his humor even funnier is his voice. Liam has been blessed with the deep and raspy voice of an old man who has spent way too much time in a smoke-filled bar. He also is 3yrs old and when your 3yrs old “Thank God”, you get to say it like you see it and I absolutely love that.
So, here we are driving between our many destinations and tasks. Grandma has James Taylor playing some sweet sounds for our listening pleasure and I decide it’s time to start getting this child as excited as I am about our upcoming summer vacation, yeah!!!!
I said to Liam, “I can’t wait to take you swimming this summer. We can go everyday to the pool.”
Liam asks in his raspy tone “is my mom going?”
“Well Liam, your mother is welcome to come but I don’t know for sure if she will.”
With almost a little disdain in his best Louis Armstrong voice Liam responds, “I’m not getting in the pool!”
“But Liam, grandma will get in the pool. I’ll swim with you.”
This is when my darling little fella let me know with total conviction, “well then, your gonna have to go buy a brand new,great big, old grandma bathing suit!”
I laughed so hard that I would have pee’d (had I not been exercising to Pilates with fervor and to keep those muscles strong, cause I’m old).
Liam, seemed somewhat taken aback and asked innocently “grandma, did I make a joke?”
“Why, yes Liam, grandma chooses to think that was a funny joke.”
“Can, I tell it again grandma?”
“Please do Liam.”
So, there it begins a future summer memory as Liam see it, shares it and grandma gets to love it.

Just When You Thought It Was Safe To Go Back In The Water!!!!

I hate when the weatherman is right in predicting rain on my spring almost into summertime parade. It’s just a little gloomy out there today and apparently there will be showers through this weekend. But I still see some rays of sunshine and because I’m still in summertime anticipation mode I thought I would repost a summer memory from last year. Last summer was when I got my groove back and I must say it was fun trip finding it. With that I digress back to summer 2012.

This has been the summer of self discovery.  First and foremost I discovered I had completely lost my groove.  Sadly, I then discovered that I had been so worn down, worn out and worn through I didn’t even remember I had one.  Through no ones fault but my own, my get up and go had got up and left without me and with no forwarding address.

None the less, just like Stella I did get my groove back.  It wasn’t on an island paradise or tropical cruise that  it was rediscovered.  I regained my funk in the most unlikely place and with one of my favorite people.  I found the groove I didn’t even know I had lost, yet still managed to miss.

It went something like this.  My darlin little sisy took her (slightly older) sister to her favorite outdoor spa for a little R&R.  I must interject now that one of the things I love most about my sisy is her total inhibition and ability to enjoy life.  I am the overly cautious (again slightly older), uptight sister.  Not to be redundant, but just to remind you I went on this little trip grooveless and wound tighter than a clock.

As my darling sister and I sauntered from one luxurious outdoor pool to another I found myself actually starting to truly relax. I hadn’t been silly in so long and it felt so good to laugh out loud.  I could hear myself and I gotta say it was music to my tired ears.  But,then it got even better.  With a glass of red wine in hand, we sat together in one of the smaller pools.  There we were just the two wild and crazy sisters without a care.  It was like we were kids again (only with wine).  It was great to feel so free and at that point I did what I NEVER in my life would have normally done.  I like my little sisy had done on her 50th birthday did it, I pee’d in the pool!!!!! It was one of craziest things I have ever done, cause I really didn’t give a diddly, PIDDLY, doo what anyone else may think.  If the water turned blue who the heck cared.  That was the freeing part I didn’t worry about it, I just did it.

That simple, silly and maybe a little inappropriate act soothed my soul.  At 56yrs old that pee became a right of passage for me.  It allowed me to not only to retrieve my lost groove but to realize the importance of the fact I still have one!