One step forward, two steps back, Prayers in faith, may we never lack

Ephesians 6:13
“Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand”.

One step forward and two steps back
Prayers in faith, may we not ever lack
The path not straight by human eye
But you see past our self-bent cry

Stepping into you, robed in love
Wearing you, in prayer to rise above
When all the world begs us to fall
The beckoning of your love does call

Wrapped in Christ, armored in glory
His perfect walk, the truth in story
Stepping beyond the world at large
In you alone we give full charge

We pray we find in you, our way
When lost mid-step and in dismay
One step forward and two steps back
Prayers in faith, may we not ever lack

Easter Miracle

John 3:16

For God so loved the world, that He gave His only Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have eternal life.

The miracles are coming
But they’ve been here the whole time
In the brokenness of spirit
Where He calls us each, His mine

The miracles are coming
In the peace where pain resides
Only His love remains constant
In Him alone I hide

The miracles are coming
Never alone I need to be
Praise God for His omnipotence
His gift of Son for Me

HAPPY BIRTHDAY LITTLE BROTHER

Been thinking about you all day long.  I’ve been living it and feeling it for days.  I’m trying very hard not to run from, but rather into the missing you part of grief, with the same honor that was you.

Happy Birthday Little Brother

 

December 24th 1960, Michael Eugene Walker came to be.  You were a quiet little kid, may have something to do with the fact that you had two kind of strong older sisters who were hell bent on protecting you at all costs.

As your sister Janet pointed out to me a short time ago, you needed no protection and in reality you were the protector.

 

Happy Birthday Little Brother

 

I’m not totally sure I agree with Janet.  As a kid you were just too sweet and just a kid, who like everybody else was surrounded in one heck of a loving and dysfunctional family.

But I most certainly do agree that in life you did grow into the head of our family and you did as time progressed become the protector of each and everyone of us you loved.

When our father died you stepped up in the midst of craziness to honor your father and your siblings when insanity was attempting to rule. 

 

Happy Birthday Little Brother

 

I watched you grow into the man our father expected you to be.  Trust me when I say you did not disappoint but rather exceeded those expectations.  Your mother loved you dearly Mike and I hope that you now feel that love with no crap or strings attached.  I think in heaven it’s all bliss and nothing amiss, I praise sweet Jesus for that.

You were the best of brothers to your parent’s children and Pam, Janet and Danny too will forever be grateful for the gift of you.

 

Happy Birthday Little Brother

 

You fought so courageously this last two and a half years.  But again you were the strong one in your fight, your life and in your death.  With incredible willpower and kindness you managed to touch others through your grace and dignity.  I will never, ever forget my brother and those who loved him so. 

 

Happy Birthday Little Brother

 

Because of you little brother, no day without gratitude, no day wasted in blame, no excuses only the attempt to live in the grace that shined within you to the end.  I love you little brother!!!!!!

 

 

Happy Birthday Little Brother,

When God Met Mike On Biscuit Rock

I will preface this by saying, this is not my story but my brother Mike’s.

My brother is an almost 53 yr old man, who has the demeanor of and carries himself with a quiet but powerful strength. My brother has the adventurous spirit of a wanderer. To me he has always been not so much searching but rather participating in the wonder of that wander.

My brother is much loved by many a friend, his brother, sister’s, nieces, nephews, grandchildren, brother’s in laws, aunt’s, uncles, cousins and most certainly by his adoring wife Darlene.
The love of his life and for a very long time his saving grace has been Darlene. Darlene I believe, is now and will remain always Mikes soul mate. I have never in all my life seen anyone love another, as Mike loves his spouse.

It was for Mike and Darlene, that the story began on Biscuit Rock some 19 yrs ago. They were young, in love and both crazy for the out of doors, so a camping they decided to go. With a small tent, 2 sleeping bags and a cooler they were off to delight in all that nature had to offer. As Darlene tells it they went up a highway that took them to the beautiful Uncompahgre Canyon, Colorado. They kept driving until just around the bend Biscuit Rock (because it looks like a biscuit, go figure) came into view.
They had to cross a bridge which led them to Biscuit Rock. (As I’m writing I’m reminded of how many more bridges there would be to cross in their lives and how much that Rock symbolized for my brother a love never shaken and forever constant.)
The two worked together but struggled to get the small tent upright. After much effort they just threw in the sleeping bags and called it a wrap. Sometime through the night the rain began to fall and it didn’t take much to collapse the tent on top of the two lovebirds. So as the rain fell, so did they down the incline of the hill adjacent to Biscuit Rock. All the while they remained wrapped up snug in the middle of their collapsed tent. They were wet but together and managed to sleep well through the night. All these many years later those two have kept that story close to heart. Sometimes a memory can be the best of medicine.

Now we jump ahead 19 plus years. Mike and Darlene have been married for sometime and their bond has grown stronger throughout the years.

At this point in the story, is when I reference back to crossing the bridge on the way to the Rock. It was over two years ago that Mike and Darlene had a huge bridge to cross in the form of Mikes colon cancer diagnosis. He has remained strong and fought valiantly to cross that bridge with dignity, hope and a fierce tenacity.
Upon Mikes diagnosis he did share with Darlene that when his time came it was back there on the Rock he desired to be.
So not too very long ago he and Darlene decided it was time to go back. Mike needed to go back.

Darlene’s entire family lives there in Colorado but as with most families life and circumstance can take a huge toll. The family had not spent much time together as a unit and like most of us, each had their own cross to bare.

Now with all that said Mike and Darlene didn’t impose on any. They were not in the mind to solicit a family gathering of any kind. They were both just happy to be together and heading to a place where my brother knew he needed to be. Thank God Darlene’s nephew Paul had something else in mind altogether. Paul had rented a twelve person van to transport all on the search for the Rock. Eleven family members and one dog came together on this trip to be blessed on Biscuit Rock. Keep in mind it had been many, many years since this family had all been together in one place at the same time.

The family drove for a very long time in the attempt to locate Mikes beloved Rock. Neither Mike or Darlene were sure of the location but they both knew they would recognize it and so, they eventually did. When the van parked and all passengers disembarked they each started off in their own direction.
Grandson’s Jacob and Brayden went to hike Biscuit Rock. Nephew Paul was off to photograph all the splendor. Brandon, another nephew and his girlfriend were just off to walk. Darlene’s son Dwayne was busy keeping a vigilant eye on his boys. Brandon’s dad Joel and Darlene’s sister Bobby hung out at the van with Mike and Darlene until Mike said he needed to go off on his own. He wanted to be alone with God. My brother was with God that day and my quiet, reserved, ever so strong brother was moved to tears and exhausted upon his return to the van.

It was then, as Darlene tells it that she and Mike knew God’s spirit of grace was at hand that day. Each and every family member was guided by a gentle spirit to join my brother and share their own memories, tears, healing and love. What a gift for my brother to hear how he had influenced their lives, what a gift for them as well.
Grandson Brayden had a piece of the rock as a gift and so Mike would always have it with him.

For Mike and Darlene both, they have never felt such a presence of spirituality and love as in that day. The feeling remained throughout their trip and into a visit with Darlene’s sister Gretchen, who due to her own health issues had not been able to attend. God’s blessing continued as Darlene was also able to spend time with her best friend Marilyn.

Darlene says the trek home from Colorado to Arizona was an arduous one. She said they came upon severe weather in the form of deep snow, rain, ice and fog. There were times when they were out on a deserted two lane highway in 2 feet of snow and she just kept driving with the song “Jesus take the wheel” playing in her head.

After my brother returned from his trip, he called me and asked me to please help translate his blessing into words. My brother wanted to share his story as the love he experienced was shared with him that day when God met him on Biscuit Rock.

Served Raw, Organic and Loved!!!!!!

ImageI’m writing this (organic style), raw and that ain’t always pretty but it in raw is honesty

My writing this evening is in regards to love. God’s great gift to us, I feel is love (grace, hope, prayer)

At the same time love is SCARY. I for one have had a passive aggressive relationship with love my whole life.

As a child I loved with all my heart my parents, grandparents and siblings. They were my first loves and I adored each

and every one of them. In my mind and heart my grandparents never let me down. My siblings, I let down but they did not me.

My parents I loved so much, that they had no chance in reality to measure up to what i wanted them to be.

Freakin expectations they get me in trouble every single time.

As I’ve aged, it is those expectations I so strongly try to avoid. I have come to the conclusion that expectations are the total contradiction to both the giving and receiving of love.

For me I totally and absolutely believe there are those of us who are love crippled. At the same time I believe those of us who now know, believe and feel the love of Jesus have a total responsiblity to ensure. that all those other crippled souls realize it’s all temporary and that the reality is “love is ongoing through our love of and from God’s Son.

We each have our story to tell. I’ve lived long and hard enough to share, I have not all the answers but i do know it is only through Jesus, for me that now love is no longer so much the passive aggressive thing.  Through Jesus, have the gratitude for a love like none I have but grown into.

Praise God for that!!!!!