From Blue Sky Bliss to Blue Light Madness


As the blue-sky envelopes all the natural beauty the great northwest has to offer, I find myself in awe of my surroundings. Even the drive to my local grocery store is scenic and my senses are ripe to breath it all in. I feel so alive, so vibrant and so grateful!!!!

Until that is, the actual shopping experience begins. The minute I start frantically wiping off (with a tiny disinfectant wipe) that filthy, cumbersome cart, all the pre-store, enjoy the trip euphoria is now only a memory for me to cling to.

Is it only me that is transfixed on thinking about how many little “pee-pee” bottoms have sat in that cart at one time or another? I think about it enough that I got to go back for another wipe. Then I must try to not take any poor bystander out while I steer that monster cart with one hand and wipe frantically that “stinkin” seat with the other.

I just have to interject here that I really DO NOT think people with that stupid blue tooth thing hanging out of there ear, should be allowed in the grocery store while wearing that ridiculous thing. Nothing screams “I need attention” more than that silly bit of business.

When shopping on a budget stopping and picking up the weekly ad is a must. Then you have to find some quiet little spot to have a minute to peruse what’s on the table for this week. Not an easy task if you’ve hit the store on a payday or senior Tuesday. Your chances of being hit by a cart driven by some old fart are way better than sneaking off somewhere to check that ad in private.

If you do manage to get those precious sale items memorized and those coupons ripped out with your bare hands and neatly enough there is still some remnant of bar code, you’ve done well. I know I’m always quite proud of myself when I get all that accomplished without cursing so loudly some poor soul thinks there’s been a flip out in aisle 5. I really do try not to curse in the grocery store but I have been known to slip up on that from time to time.

When I finally do make it to check out, is when I really must focus and breath. Again if it’s busy and the lines are long I will make at least one pre-emptive pass, by all the cashiers. I’m looking for that experienced, friendly face that I think will help me to achieve my goal to get through that line as quickly as possible. I’m also checking out my shopping competition. I do not want to get behind a couponer or social butterfly, cause to me that is the equivalent of torture. Again too there better not be a “bluetooth” wearer in my line. I will shift from side to side to side to side, while focusing on anything but the horror in front of me. I get the shakes just thinking about it!

But when it’s all said, done, bought and paid for I exit and take again a deep breath of outside bliss. That is until I realize I forgot, yet again where I parked that freakin car. This is why I have grandchildren. My role as grandmother is nurturer. Their role is to keep grandma the loving nurturer and save her from the grocery store parking lot trauma about to happen!!!!!!!!


3 thoughts on “From Blue Sky Bliss to Blue Light Madness

  1. I am going to call you “PERMA”. You know as in Erma Bombeck. You are so stinking funny and a little crazy. Xo
    Could not be more proud of you!

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