“It Wouldn’t Be The First Time, We Lost Our Ass.”


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Just this last Saturday my husband and I partook in some well deserved, much-needed and ohhhhhhh so anticipated yard sale madness.
We got up way early (meaning just past the crack of dawn), combed our disheveled hair, brushed our wine stained teeth (from the fun Friday night prior) and dawned our best sweat pant attire.

I am of the opinion it is just pretentious and almost a sin to overdress for yard sales!!!!

After breaking open our poor piggy (as in bank) we were ready to hit any and all neighborhood street vendors with vigor.

Yee-haw, let the yard sale madness begin!!!!

Our first stop was just a little boring, to say the least. A couple of silk plants, a TV (circa 1973) and a poor mans excuse for a closet (aka, very old elliptical machine).
With just a yawn and turn of the key we blew out of that snooze fest with vigor.

I got to admit right here and now, I get kind of get a rush when it comes to yard sale-ing. God help any other grandma who thinks she can beat me in a knock down, drag out, nickel pinching deal on some overpriced, worn-out, piece of crap nobody really wants anymore deal.
So much fun, so little time and on with the pursuit of treasure, that some call trash.

It was somewhere down a long line of garage paraphernalia. Way past the dust-strewn boxes of gross yarn and toy’s that had been handled with way too many mucus filled hands that I felt my heart skip a beat. I had stumbled upon yard sale gold and found my long-lost ass (aka, vintage concrete boro with cart).

There it was barely standing on three of its four legs, an old weathered ass, just like me. I loved it and couldn’t wait to get it home. I even got my husband jazzed about our new treasure, (not the first time he’s gotten excited over my ass).

After hauling our ass home I snapped a photo of our new piece (of ass). I promptly posted the pic on facebook and noted simply “our new ass.”
The comments that came in convinced me that a lot of our family and friends have the same goofy, maybe a little immature (and thank God for that) sense of humor that my spouse and I share.

I was so tickled that everybody loved our ass soooo much. But then I became a little concerned and asked my darling husband, “what if somebody, steals our treasure from the yard?” His response was calm and priceless, “Dear, it wouldn’t be the first time, we lost our ass.”

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2 thoughts on ““It Wouldn’t Be The First Time, We Lost Our Ass.”

    • I’m glad you enjoyed my little story. I totally agree with the philosophy of
      “why not laugh?”. We should all enjoy laughing our ass’s off, once in awhile.

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